Onward, Upward, and Always Twirling

Here we are, you and me, at the start of a thing called a blog.  I am just another idiot who thinks what's in his head oughtta be words other people can read and you're...well, you're the poor sap that's giving me a moment of your time.  For that, I thank you and probably ought to apologize in advance.  I can't promise this is going to be anything close to worth it but by golly, I'm gonna do my damnedest to make this something someone other than myself might think worthwhile.  If it makes you feel any better, I've been mulling over writing one of these for a good year or so and have had a lot of ideas rattling around, so hopefully I can polish those up and knock out content fairly regularly.

So, what can you expect here at Climb Out of My Nose?  You can expect to climb out of my goddamn nose, that's what. 
*cough!*
You can expect bad attempts at humor for starters.  I'm going to probably do some random creative writing type stuff, probably have a couple of regular features (something of the month, maybe Muppet maybe pro wrestler, maybe monster, maybe all of the above), and then just spout my bullshit if the mood strikes.  I'm into pro wrestling, monsters, comic books, and animals to name a few interests.  Married.  Atheist.  Bisexual.  Cut my own hair.  Wear too many bracelets.  Rather than just spit out various words about me I should just let the blog do the talking.

First hurdle I had to overcome in becoming a blogger was that pesky title.  I wanted to go with 'Indifferent Plumbing' initially but then I googled and it didn't seem as unique as I'd first thought.  So I sat here for damn near an hour throwing out various phrases and then staring at them in the box before deleting them.  Some made second and third appearances.  Considered the well worn 'just another idiot with a blog' approach, various song lyrics ("One of a Million Wandering Children" seemed a bit long), childhood nicknames ('The Goobug's Yabber"), and really lingered for awhile on 'Hot Mandrill Sex'...that was the front-runner for a good five minutes.  So, what's up with the current title, you ask?  Dave Letterman went on a rant about it on the Late Show when I was younger that had me laughing my ass off and it's stuck with me ever since.  "What I want you to do is go to the tool shed, get a ladder, and climb out of my nose!"  No idea what ol' Dave was on about but it's weirdness and I dig weirdness.  You'll understand that soon enough.

Second hurdle: do I swear?  You have to consider your audience but you also have to be genuine.  In real life, I'm known to fire off some salty language here and there.  I feel it adds color and punch and expresses things better than the softer alternatives.  At the same time, my dear sweet mother might want to read my ramblings and not be so fond of her son popping off f-bombs.  So what's a boy supposed to do?  Sorry, Mom, but there may occasionally be some adult language from your adult son.

I think that's long enough for an intro.  Maybe too long?  I honestly know jack-diddly about blogging protocol, I'm just diving in like an idiot.  So come swim with this idiot if you'd like and hopefully we don't drown.